xoxo , Ayumi

2010-01-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

2010-01-12T03:43:00.001-08:00

I just can't ignore this feeling.

All of my memories that I had while I was in Philippines, came back to me all of a sudden. Now my thoughts are calling his name, screaming out the way I feel. I remembered when we danced, your hands on my hips and moving to the sweet, slow, love song beat. I miss when we sat together in the tricycle, i miss when we were sitting side-by-side, i miss riding your bicycle, i miss sitting outside at the balcony when you are too at your house, i miss hearing you sing with your guitar, i miss walking pass your house, i miss walking with you, i miss your eyes, i miss when we're at your house, i miss sitting on your sofa, i miss watching ppl playing cards with you, i miss your voice, i miss your laughter, i miss your smiles, i miss you looking at me, i miss giving you the eye contact, i miss everything =[ Even though we've never talked bfore, i know you from a long long time and after that dance we had, changed everything. I can read your mind, i need you to say it. When i come back there, i'll be so glad to see you again. Let me know when i'm there, tell me from time to time. Bcos, the worst thing is loving someone who doesnt love you back. Now that we're far away, i wanna enjoy my life ferst. When i'm back there, its a whole new world. But there's always be a certain time, that i would think of you and the times we had. Is this love, or an infatuation?

xoxo, Natsumi.

2010-01-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

If you wanna play games with me then, I'm good
Say what you do for me than, I'm good
You don't really mean a thing cause, I'm good
With or without you ^^

Had fun in school, okay like EVERY school day and i love it. Especially when i have my happy pills around. Haha. Natasha, Jaspreet, Tricia, Nursya, Afiqah. Lol, i cant stop laughing when abt the mata and stim tht one. Kekek gile xD hahahaha. Then aft sch had conversational chinese -_- teacher keep scolding me bcos i talked too much. lol, ahah. Natasha neh go sia~ baek per aku balek sorg. grr~ takpetakpte ^^ haha, LMAO today. Some pics at my fone, mayb tomorrow go upload. Rite now i'm tired, and wanna read the eng article that eng cher gave. Bye pplszx ^^

2010-01-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

went out with family today, had lunch with grandma and uncle. Then went to cuzzies' place. Was upstairs looking at one of my adek sedare playing soccer, then another play skateboard and another sitting down. Saw guys downstairs, those i know. Wanted to go down and hella at them but then i know my parents dont give me go down sorg2. so i signal my cuzzies all go up. Then i straight away tell them tht i'm going to shop and run off with th rest of my cuzzies xD Walked pass M and his friends all. One of my adek sedare said, "Kakak Putri, M and his friends all looking at you. You know M asking for your number and he likes you when he saw you last time" And i was like okaaaaaaaaay, and i just ignored. While going to 7eleven, saw some mats at the street soccer place too. one of them called me, lol. Kk, then walked under blk then this one mat knows one of my cuzzies and asked who am i. Not bothered to wait for my cuzzy, so just walked with th rest. Then in 7eleven bought Peach Tea and the drink. Then one of my cuz started laughing crazily then the gyu at the counter gave us the wth look. lol. kk, while walking bck, this guy from his house call me from on top and asked whr am i going if he could follow. looked at him and ignored. then lepak bawa blk, saw M and his friends all. Smiled and then go nearer shelter to lepak. When i left the place, they left too. Then go home.. Now at home. Lol, its 8.38pm and idk why i feel so sleepy. Yay, now my adek sedare sch near my sch then can go lepak with her under the blk with her guy friends already bcos M and his friends wanna knal2 ^^ Haha, kk bye readerszx ;D

2010-01-09T21:34:00.000-08:00

I'm not fallin for that game bcos boys like you never change. You made me feel like i wasnt enough,wasnt enough for your love. But it was insecurity that made u run, that wasn't me. So don't just sit there & try to give me more excuses. I dont have time for this, i'm off to play in houston & I'm too busywith a million things I'm doing.

You can't make up for what you've done. You still try to be the one.

♥xoxo, your ex girlfriend

2010-01-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

No point putting up the convo abt the "break up" bcos they'll think i might change it -_- You guys only hear the story from his mouth ONLY, but how abt the another? gosh, bcos your his friend?? c'mon, you guys should stop being narrow minded. How come ferst day of break up no spammers ah? Conferm somebody cant handle the break up and tell and twist stories and asked you guys to go to my blog to bring me down but sorry, you guys can't =] I bet once i'm att with a guy, conferm you all gile2 nk carek laki tu. Mayb go his blog and say i'm a slut? hahahaha, as if my future boyfriend would care if not, then byebye. Puhlease, wanna care abt me breaking up with firdaus for wht? we're still young la. he can find other girl whaaaat, and then later if break, he tak puas go tell you all, and then start whole thing like this. so whats the problem now? tak puas aku break ngn dier? haha, as if you can force me to kneel down to him. Nah, no thanks. I'd rather go for another guy rather than sticking to the one that hurt me many times. When i think of all the times i've wasted, i could cry. I dont wanna waste my time on a boy anymore. Thanks to him, i would rather study than going obsessed with a boy and then get together, and then end. What a waste of time and effort. And btw, i wanted to work it out bfore that but whats the point of working out ALONE, when he himself dont want to? it shows tht he doesnt love me anymore. Eh da laaaa, da break tu da break. Nk ckp ape lagik? I am not going to give up, just bcos of you all and my ex boyfriend =]

2010-01-09T05:01:00.000-08:00

That dress you saw in the pics, was i bought in Phils ^^ Went out with family and bought a lot of things from Sasa. Wet eyeliner, lip gloss and more~ Feeling kinda sleepy now though.. but i dowanna sleep. Thats all i can say, i wanna go find this certain movie where got this group of chinese teens was tapping the bowls then the ghost all come bt i forgot the title. Anyone knows? Gahh, i wanna watch that movie. Kk, bye pplszx~

i used to be lovedrunk but now i'm hungover, i love you forever....
but now its overrrrrr

2010-01-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

Lipgloss, mascaras and eyeliners are just like my stationeries, my second bestfriend. its just that you can use them to make you look good, but pencils and pens just look good on paper especially when it comes to doodles. I'm gonna go bathe and wake my mum up and ask her if we're going out. I need like, 45mins to straighten all of my hair. Idk why i'm saying this, but i feel like studying maths. But the best part was, i lost my scientific calculator -_- But its okay, thanks to Jaspreet, she has an extra but all i have to buy is the batteries. I'll just use my extra thermometer to use it. She'll be lending me her Twilight book bcos she wants me to improve my english, i also want. Hehe, just by reading it will improve (thats what she said and i agree with her). Okay, i wanna go download all the songs and charge my iPod and Blackberry. Bye pplszx ^^v

2010-01-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

Kinda sleepy. Bored so just decided to play around my hair with my hair straightener. If i'm going out, i'm going to buy a shampoo which grows hair faster bcos i miss/want my longlong hair. =[ yay, homework and packing of books all done in one shot ^^ i'm gonna go sleep soon, i wanna start to sleep early~ hehe. K la, i wanna go lie down while texting Iman =] bye pplszx xD pee/ass ; babygirls, when wanna go out!? ,mayb next week okay babes. luv you bitches ^^

2010-01-08T07:01:00.000-08:00

Haha, wah my taggy happening -_- Anyway, prolly somebody must have gang up at once just to bring me down. Korg tak tau ape jadi, tkmo nk tudoh2 sembarang okey. Ya'll neh even know the whole convo. Break da break, korg fikir korg gang up aku akan mintak paiseh ngn dier dan patch alek? Sorry, i dowant liao. If i make a decision, its final. And passerby is not my ex alrite. i dont even know who is passerby but i really appreciate him/her though bcos yg korg nk campor hidop aku ape hal? keciankan fir? go ahead la stead ngn dier ^^ aku mana ade heran. he's not mine, and i'm not his anymore =] and its over, wanna kecoh over here for what? citer da abes la, fullstop. Anyway, whats up with Daniel? Cume kawan aje per~ My blog whaaaat, what i wanna say i say lor. Ruben is my crush so what? Wanna involve guys that i posted here for what? tanak caye, suke hati korg ^^ i deleted YOUR hate tags, doesnt mean that i'm scared of wtv, tkde masa uh ngn korg and its my taggy so aku peh psl nk delete ke tak ^^ I dont feel the pinch of your harsh words, haters. I'd rather back off rather to be call a minah meREPek =]

B.T.W, dina and beautiful lady, sama org nmpk xD omgomg, and judge too! eh ade lagik! gaga also! wah, 4 times i updated this. lol. OMG, and mr nice guy too(5th time). hahahahaha, loser. yeayea lets just karma do the job ^^ fuh, so its like, 2-3 ppl? hahaha, pathetic siaaa~ ahahhaha

2010-01-08T01:31:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Jaspreet, i love Muse more than ever ^^ and Twilight too -_- Haha. Okay, its been like, three days straight that i've dreamt of Philippines. Dreamt of Ruben xD Kk, today sch was as usual. Halfway got dizzy bcos my inhaler wasn't with me and the room smelled like paint. Aft sch, went home straight bcos me and Natasha were tired. Jaspreet needs to meet her mum. I feel like sleeping now but i gt home work to do. I got maths rite yesterday, so i wanna see whether i really got it rite without checking the ans. Anyway, wrapped my notebooks and now it looks so chio ^^ With butterflies and flowers. Hehe, k la i wanna go do my hw. Bye~

2010-01-07T02:47:00.000-08:00

lol, here's the pic. sempat nk bareng atas bag aku. hahahaha,

2010-01-07T01:21:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BDAY ENAAAA, MY BABYGIRL!

HEHE , I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU !!

Phew! Just got back from lepak-ing with my girls and Lufi. Shingz, we go skygarden. While lepak-ing, aleh2 police come and kene screen sia -____- had fun with all of em' ^^ Wah, i didnt know that Lufi can carry me wayy upp highhh and like a princess, thats the ferst time, i ever felt like a real princess. LOL. Yay, esok bleh gi skola lmbt ! Gonna ask mum more money bcos i wanna go have morning breakfast mayb at Macs. Then saturday if can i wanna go out with my girls bcos 2weeks tak kluar. Tomorrow having the mass in sch and i dont feel like bringing any bks. Haha, now i waiting for Natasha to online so that i can get the pic we took just now. Haha, kk bye readers~

2010-01-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

daniel says:
*haha so have you ever had a long distance relationship?
♥N atsumi Barbie says:
*yeagh ,
*but , he ended up a jerk . he was being mean and stuff
daniel says:
*aww
*were you a good gf to him?
♥N atsumi Barbie says:
*yes , i wanted to last long and i wasnt flirting or looking for any other guy
*then yeah , he was being a jerk otp
daniel says:
*ohh what a bastard
*you deserve so much better
* <3
♥N atsumi Barbie says:
*yeah ..
daniel says:
*maybe you should start looking for another guy *wink*
*8-)
♥N atsumi Barbie says:
*hahah, hmm should i?
daniel says:
*lol maybee
♥N atsumi Barbie says:
*ooh ..

happening or what? LOL, i dont think i wanna be att for now, wanna go enjoy life ferst since life is so short. Hahah, kk. Iman shoo-ing me uh -_- pfft . kk, nitezx ppls~

2010-01-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

Oh! I'm ready for it, c'mon bring it!

It's a quarter to one and i'm not sleepy yet. Okay, i terribly miss Philippines and I wanna go back there ASAP. I miss it so much, that i dreamt one of my relatives abt he saving me from something? I forgot liao. LOL. Every guy that i danced with, changed alot. From we knowing each other but neh smile, we smile. To those whom idk that i danced with, introduce me to a lot of his friends and smile. Yay, now got more new friends there rather than me getting stuck with jealous bitches there, pfft. Feelings for those whom i knew, grew a lil bit more. And i felt much more comfortable when they're around. I miss my cousins and tiger =[ i miss looking at the stars. i miss riding tri-cycle. i miss when all eyes were on me. i miss when Ruben looked at me xD i miss sleeping in my coldcold room. i miss climbing up and down the stairs. i miss everything. and, i miss Jolibee. I dowanna go back in June, i want in December. December is when everything is cooling and the bestest time yo'll ever had. When things falls into place that you didnt know it would (for me la). Christmas and New Year was the bestest especially when you're there. Ohmy! I forgotten tomorrow i meeting Abg Lufi sia! Shingz! Baru nk jempot my girls gi BS. hahahahaha. Or maybe, go lepak with my girls and abg lufi also. Nyaha. K la, i wanna go chat with Daniel, the hot caucasian guy, since he got something to tell me =P Okey, bye readers ^^

daniel says:
*so are you still single
*?
('.')NATSUMI BARBIE says:
*yes i am , why ?
daniel says:
*nothing (A)*angel*
*lol
('.')NATSUMI BARBIE says:
*hahah , you sure ?
daniel says:
*lol a little
('.')NATSUMI BARBIE says:
*hahah,
*tell me :P
daniel says:
*well i really think youre gorgeous :$
*and fun to talk to
('.')NATSUMI BARBIE says:
*aww, hehe
*i didnt know that i was fun to talk to

2010-01-06T06:42:00.000-08:00

Heheh. Went to Anchorpoint, then to cmw. Then mrt-ed home. Went into the train, behind us was some ITE malay guys sitting.

Guy 1; Putri, putri, putri!
Me ; *turn behind then look to the front. Then the guy go point to his friend and the guy keep on laughing looking away*
Guy 1; Putriii!
Me ; *pissed so i look back again*
Guy 1 ; Kenal ____ (some girl in my sch, i thought i heard my ex's name but luckily its not)
Me ; Uhh, knal.. *look infront again*
Guy 1 ; cmne kau tau namer dier Putri? (talking t his friend beside)
Guy 2 ; nametag dier uh..
Guy 1 ; nama dier Putri, agaknye bapak dier raja ah..
Me ; *turn behind* Tsk, fuck siaaaa. Kecoh
*all of the ITE guys there laugh*
Guy 2; Sec brape nie?
Me ; due.
Guy 3 ; Putrii? Putriiiiii... Putriiii eh? haha. your name putri?
Me ; a'ahh ....
Lol, i didnt know my name so nice to say.

Got down the same MRT train with one of the guys. Went down the same also. Hahah, he keep on looking behind whether to see we got down the same or not. When reach down already , he look at me. Idk whether to smile or not so i just look away. Anyway, sch today, biase la boring but the fun part only when it comes to recess. Slept during Geog, my partner also. LOL. Hahah. Cher gave maths hw and i still havent do. Aiya, later then i do la. K la, i think i wanna do now and text somebody bcos later dier marah. Haha, kk bye~

2010-01-06T00:32:00.001-08:00

To that kentzx who had been dirtying my taggy;
Hahah, tanak caye itu kau punye pasal la ^^ me? flirt? haha, its not like i'm attached now whut. Its my life, bkn kau punye hidop. Tak menyusahkan kau kan =] Tak suke, jalan dan takmo nk pandang lagi. i'm ugly? haha, who are you to judge me? tuhan? lol. nah as for me, i am happy with the way i look though and nothing can do anything to me =D My blog, my words.
♥Putri

2010-01-05T04:57:00.000-08:00

Me and Mr J, i cant stop blushing rite now. Thinking of what happened that nite. Anyway, i wanted to complete my story like FINALLY since i'm single liao. K, sat outside with him and talked a lot of things. It was going to New Year. Was thinking abt my ex, enjoying partying at club and i knew we would break up, so i decided to let it go. Went into the kitchen and told my mum. She told me to take a drink for him so i did. Then we went to the kitchen together and i get his food bcos mum asked to when i was shy like hell -_- She keep on walking in and out of the kitchen and we would stop talking whenever she is around. kk, went outside. So talked, and celebrated new year with him. Family was all busy kecoh2 when new year came. Watched fireworks together. Mum knows him and she knows that he was in the house with me all the time. Thinking tht tht was the last time i was going to see him, but i was wrong. The nite bfore i'm going to the airport, he suddenly come. I was shocked. Then just invited him over and got him his drink and food. Watched movie together with the lil' ones. My kakak sedare was being sebok! with my adek2 sedare also -_- cannot tahan the small kids making noises, we went outside and talktalk. I was feeling cold and hug my legs, then he took out his jacket and wanna put it on me but i said no thanks. Talked talked. Then once th movie over, wah my adek sedare all come out kecoh2 kt luar. Suro gi tdo tanak. Then their mother come and take them away. Was together for 3hours. While i was looking away, he suddenly said. Can i hold your hand? And i didnt want to but since i'm going away and he's going to wait for another one whole year, i let him. Then my adek sedare come and cpt2 lepaskan. Okok, then when he need to go, walked him back to his bike and i told him i was afraid to go back home bcos its too dark. Walked together holding hands and hugged softly (i wasnt comfortable as i was thinking abt my ex -_-) then i turn and go home, and he sent me home again. LOL. waved gdbye and my kakak sedare like tak happy liddat -_- jealous. Niways, the next day get to chat with him and everything's fine. Okay, i miss phils until i dreamt abt it =[

(both of my adek sedare yg kecoh2, hehe)

(kakak sedare and adek2 sedare)

(yup thats real)

(The guy who wanted to bring me out on a date and see his necklace there? It has my name on it "N")

To Ruben;
I can read your mind, i need you to say it. I know eversince that dance we had, you've been trying to show me that you like me but you were afraid to. How i know that you like me? Eversince that dance, you played your guitar outside ur house (since ur my neighbour), i can see you. And when i was in the kitchen and opened the window, dont think i'm stupid. Bcos i know you were looking at me thru the window. Every time, every movement that i made. And when i go to ur house, i know that from the corner of my eye, you were looking at me. When i going out with my kakak sedare, me and you would always be the only ones walking behind. You were nervous and afraid. Even scared to talk to me. I wanted to talk to you but i was shy too. Anyway, lets just see when i come back. Gosh, you get to hold myhips *blushes* I know when Mr J was around you didnt like it and i can see that. Stop and listen, As my thoughts calling your name, screaming out the way i feel. Yes i know you'd do the same. I think you might be on the same border. Same line, same page. I’m tired of Listening to your silence that brings water to my eyes. Lets try this again. btw, i'm not that into Mr J .. You gotta let me know..

2010-01-05T00:15:00.000-08:00

Bestfriends till death, ♥

Went to sch together with my girls. Had lunch together with my girls. Everywhere with my girls but i'm lovin it! ^^ Everyday is a laughing madness day with me and my girls. I remembered like in the class just now, lol. During MT, went to Library. After sch, met Kak Emma and with my girls. Met Luqman and then ciao to some other place. Lepak and took a lot of pics. So fun. Tomorrow will be going out with them too. Hehe. One of the pics above is we ask some random guy to take our pic. Klakar seyh, lol. But he's kind enuf to help us take =] Anyway, i wanna buy something tomorrow at the place we're goin but idk what. K la, i wanna go get ready my books. Today tak jadi meet Abg Lufi, so laen kali but this week in one of the days. K la, bye ppls ^^

Pee/ass; uh what you talking abt me? like goldfish? haha, i know cute kan mcm goldfish ^^

2010-01-04T14:04:00.000-08:00

Its 6.05am and i'm waiting for 6.30 to go meet my girls at Pioneer MRT. 6.15am then i wanna go do my hair la , or mayb now ? Hahah, niways PE will be later and i hate PE -___- and then after sch will be going out again with my girls to meet ppls. K la, i feel i wanna go do my hair liao. Bye ppls ^^

2010-01-04T04:38:00.000-08:00

I don't need a man to make it happen,
I get off being free.
I don't need a man to make me feel good,
I get off doing my thing.
I don't need a ring around my finger,
To make me feel complete.
So let me break it down,
I can get off when you ain't around.

I want a love that's for real.
And without that then no deal.
And baby I don't need a hand,
If it only wants to grab one thing.

Ladies, if your dude ain't acting right, you tell that dude he gtg!
Now, it wont be my tears that come crashin down for you ;D

I'm happy rite now bcos i dont feel sad and depressed as before. I knew this would be coming after 2weeks i've been gone out away from Singapore. So I thought abt it in Philippines and was expecting the unexpected. And i was ready for it ;D Tomorrow will be meeting Luqman after school. Idk why but he wanted to see me -_- Then meeting Abg Lufi psl da lamer da tak jumpe. 3months + ? Anyway, ok idk what to say already bcos i'm too hyper. Now i dont have to think and worry abt someone liao. And babygs! Now we're a complete Singles Ladies ^^ Now i have all my guy friends back to talk with me on msn. As usual they would say, kalau att tanak kacau -_- Yay, i miss you guys!